I found this picture on Pinterest (from this blog) and it made me laugh out loud. So many of the things in this picture are things that I regularly hear my friends in the IF community complain that they've had said to them. A few of them are things that some of you, dear readers, have said to me. So, my blog for NIAW will be "Don't Ignore Common Sense."
If someone has the courage to share with you their struggle with infertility, they've likely been through a long and difficult silence where they were afriad that sharing would lead others (i.e. you) to judge them, pity them or otherwise think of them as "different." In reality, 1 in 8 couples suffer from infertility so the only thing "different" about us is that we're open about our struggle. If someone is confiding in you, they aren't looking for advice. They likely have a team of well-paid medical professionals (that they're paying out of pocket for, btw) giving them advice. Your infertile friends and family members don't need your advice, they need your support.
So, before, you say any of the things in the picture above, stop and ask yourself whether you're being supportive or if you're unintentionally causing pain. Don't say you understand if you haven't walked in these shoes. Don't tell us it's in God's plan unless you really believe that God wants crackheads and 16 year-olds to have babies but not us. Don't tell me I should adopt because then I'd get pregnant right away unless you're going to give me the $25-$45K it would take to adopt a baby. And, just like last year's advice, don't ever mention to me if you happened to get pregnant on your first try. Some things are better left unsaid.
For more information about NIAW and RESOLVE: